Ash (cathubodva) wrote in not_ttc_now,

Hello everyone!

My name is Ashley, I'm 21 years old, and I had a hysterectomy in December for endometriosis and chronic pain, after years of surgeries and medical and alternative treatments.

I'll admit it. I started this community for purely selfish reasons.

I get really frustrated when I see people who shouldn't have children, yet they have them anyway. Why is it that every unfit-to-be-a-parent person in the whole world pops them out by the dozen? My neighbor has two kids, and her sister, who lives on the other side of her, has two kids too, and they're both terrible moms.

A few days ago, all four kids were in my neighbor's yard. The oldest of the kids, who is five, was telling the younger ones that if they didn't stay in the backyard, the police would come and arrest them, and take them to jail, where they'd get picked up by (*gasp of horror*) THE FOSTER PARENTS. And then the foster parents would take them away and lock them in a room and beat them. And then they all decided to play "cops and foster parents" (whatever happened to cops and robbers?), and they ran around hitting each other.

My twenty three year old cousin and her nineteen year old boyfriend, both cocaine addicts, are expecting in November.

My eighteen year old former roommate and her twenty year old boyfriend, who both came crying to me about how they needed an abortion because they "forgot" to use birth control (but chose not to have one, though they still don't really "feel ready to have a baby"), are expecting in July.

How come people like that can have kids, but I won't be able to? I'm not ready now, by any means, but someday, yeah, it'd be nice. Still, I'll have to go through a crazy screening process, and pay lots of money, so that I can adopt a child.
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Ughhh...God. You know, I want kids, but I'm not having them right now for a REASON. I can't afford to support them right now. And even when I am ready, I have polycystic ovaries, so my fertility is up in the air.

And yet these two dipshits that I know (can't really call them my friends) have a little boy. And that poor, poor kid...first of all, Daddy's 21 and Mommy's 19, and the two of them have the combined intelligence and maturity of your average five year old. They both smoke weed, as well as grow and sell it, around this kid, and the mother even smoked while pregnant.
You sound like you could be my twin sister...

I too have had a hyster, also for endo/pcos/chronic pain/chronic bleeding. I had mine in 1998, just a couple of weeks after my 28th birthday, after begging and pleading for more than a decade for it, and after 20 years of problems...

I too would still like to be a mother, and get extremely upset when I see moronic parents popping them out like there's no tomorrow, then abusing their kids in one way or another, and me and my DH don't even get one. I too resent the horrific amount of money it takes to adopt an unwanted and unloved child who could do a lot worse than our loving home.

Thank you for this community.

*hugs you*
oh my darling... how much i need this community you don't understand:)

i'm not ready to have children by any means at this point in my life, but i definitely want them. it scares me to think that one day i might not be able to -- having endo, plus two miscarriages in the past 3 years?

and you're right... all the infertility support is around people who are trying to conceive right now, and i don't know if i can't have kids, and i'm not willing to find out yet by trying, but i still feel like i need this support.

you. are. amazing.